Archive for June, 2010

The Comfort Zone

Good music, laughter, having freedom, uninhibited creativity and feeling good vibes from my husband are things I desire and enjoy with all my heart…

A good time in my life

The wonderful times that we shared and we participated in at Christmas time with the family.

Are You?

Let’s love and share the goodness that we all possess towards one another.

Pick up the pace

Purpose- sometimes it is just common sense thinking and sometimes you have to be a lil’ insane to be sane to understand and to see what you can’t fully see with one’s eyes. Then the mechanisms in the brain have to clarify the rest.

To the powers that be… I do know how good My God is…

Arian woman are strong, fine, attractive, smart, loving, positive, deep thinkers, love hard, kind, great lovers of man-kind and we stand for the truth and justice.  We can be poor or rich but we will not stand to be robbed or abused without redemption. Pay back can be a Bitch!

God puts good people in our paths for many reasons and HE helps us in so many outstanding ways to help others, capture ourselves for our sanity and reasoning, justification, peace and the sake of our very existence…. I am glad that I found you or you found me or we found each other and my friendship to you is a permanent one!

I understand what a good woman is going through 110% (when times are bad)

Refrain: “YOU use to do some crazy and deadly things back in the day and I was sick and tired, frustrated, mad, jealous, vindictive, scared, love-stricken and compelled to walk away and I wanted to kill you, it felt like I was falling from grace at those times”.

Story:

Just when you think that things are finely getting back to normal or the broken puzzle pieces had been salvaged to complete the puzzle, wrath comes in like abominable storms and replaces calmness, peace, contentment and normal criteria with total chaos and grief. We love and hold on to our men hard and strong with the life of our owns that we have  put them in, given to them, willed to them, in trusted to them, while forcefully giving into them, soon comes aches with despair and disbelief when they turn around and do things such as stupid acts or selfish nonsense for their greater good.

It causes us (women) to mend the pieces time after time after time, until there aren’t any bricks left, bandages left, patience left, caring left, reasoning left, pain left, guilt left or openness left.

We become numb, we loose those loving feelings, we no longer see those wonderful boyish-men attractions that brought us to you in the first place, we began to see the hurt and fighting backed up by all the evil that daily dangles around our face, mind and summons our body to want for others. We continue to melt down until there is nothing there but the existence of saying that I am alive, married to him and that I want more out of my marriage and my life.  We then come to the conclusion that we wan to hurt (or kill), want out (divorce), want to just pick up and leave( loose everything), while  delusional thinking  limits us to  realizing that things will never be the same ever again (we have failed, love is gone, I am not good enough,and I brought this evil on all by myself).

I had lost the real man that I so treasured and loved so deeply inside and at that moment the real woman in me took the biggest risk of her life; no longer am I gonna be the other women or the forgotten women you see  I have become the women who no  longer cares.  We then talk about our spouses foully and degradable and in the process unbeknown to ourselves we are trashing ourselves as well! Some of us find sanity in other men arms and other women arms, while some of us never recover. It’s not that we can’t seek help and nurture ourselves back to health we have no desire to try again or even give ourselves the chance because we tried once and failed majorly and the GUILT and SHAME eats us alive that causes us to fade to exist outside of being a woman beat down. Not to mention we loose our faith and we are constantly mad at the Lord for what we believe to be punishment for things that we did not do or get to have because of…  Little do we know that we are just hurting ourselves because I now know that the Lord has all the time and patience in the world for us (women) to get ourselves together to ask HIM for forgiveness. Then we allow all of the evil to transpire into our already chaotic arena. From there we have to decide to stay in the chaos or do the break-down thing to find and allow ourselves with a brand new pardon of trust followed by the same faith (you see we only need a mustard seed of faith; we just need to learn how to re-direct the power and the joy we already have) to re-write our destines.

I loved myself and I needed to make the rightful change for more reasons then one. You see I had someone else who was counting on me for a finer chance at a descent life and I owned that to him and I owned that to myself as well. You see my mother didn’t raise no fool… Thank you LORD for your patience, understanding, forgiveness, love and mercy!!!!!!  I’m still here today and I feel that I am a better grounded person and I still have a lot to offer and be joyous about, you see I still fought the right way and I won (you see the recovery process was like I was in rehab recoveries from dramatic surgeries and my mind and body had to heal but I had God on my side all the way).

Foul playin’

It is not the words that you speak it’s the actions that aren’t followed or carried out by those words…

Double Standards

Virtue is in the eye of the beholder… and sometimes you (the person(s) in interest) really aren’t it!

Words for Today

Treat yourself and free yourself with a few moments of good thoughts…

Pieces-n-time

Pieces seem to fall in place at the most awkwardness of times and time always seems to matter in every little thing we do…